March 2017: Dozens of coffins dating back to 1700s found by Philadelphia construction crews.
January 2017: Species of Vampire Bat has developed a taste for Human blood. I'll drink to that.
November 2016: Stolen 3,000 year old mummy hand returned to Egypt.
October 2016: Wreckage of World War I German U-boat attacked by "Sea Monster" found off UK coast.
May 2016: Residents of English town report multiple sightings of mysterious beast, described as "8-foot tall Werewolf".
May 26th, 2016: On this day in 1897, Bram Stoker's classic novel, DRACULA goes on sale.
April 2016: Chinese Morticians restore bodies using 3D printing.
April 2016: Michigan High School Taxidermy class a huge hit with future Norman Bates--I mean, students.
March 2016: Used for centuries, Scientists have now created genetically modified maggots that could help human wounds to heal better.
March 2016: Man claims to "see the devil" in Officer's eyes, before ramming Police car.
January 2016: Remains of monster-sized prehistoric Crocodile found in Tunisian desert.
January 2016: What a hoot. Louisiana Police Officer forced to abandon cruiser after midnight Owl attack.
January 2016: Ahoy! Human remains found under English schoolyard may be 500-year old corpse of Pirate, hung from gallows and displayed for passing sailors.
October 2015: Pumpkin attacks Arizona town. And yes, there's a video.
September 2015: Truck overturns and releases thousands of bees on interstate highway, causing multiple crashes. That stings.
August 2015: Man trespasses into cemetery to exhume his father who has been buried for forty years, claims he wanted to help him "go to Heaven".
August 2015: British Library asks public for help deciphering inscription on medieval sword. I'll save you the trouble. It says: "If found, return to Transylvania. Or else".
August 2015: Florida Alligator attacks man, bites off "chunk" of park employee's leg. Only a "chunk"? Come on, gator. You can do better.
August 2015: Pennsylvania school closes for third time due to infestation of venomous spiders. I have simple solution: Relocate the children.
July 2015: "Nosferatu" Horror film Director, F.W. Murnau's head stolen from family plot in Germany. I cannot take credit for this.
March 2015: Cornell University researchers design Zombie Outbreak Simulator and the news is not good if you live in or near a city.
So remember, if you're desperate for shelter, visit my castle. You're welcome anytime. Simulate that.
July 2015: Crowds flock to botanical garden at University of California Berkeley to see and smell the putrid-smelling Sumatran titan arum, otherwise known as the Corpse Flower. Who needs a flower? I've worn this scent for centuries.
July 2015: Part game, part theater, escaping from Escape Rooms is fast becoming a popular and lucrative trend around the world.
I have a bunch of these. They're called Dungeons.