These Songs Suck: Five Great Tracks on every Vampire's Playlist
By now you know Vampires are soulless creatures; they are long dead but eternally existent demons who subsist on blood, the essential liquid of you and I, the living. In spite of this horror, this unquenchable penchant for the flesh of humanity, most creatures of the night have something else they’re known for: excellent taste in music.
Of course this love of melody is not common among all vampires; what passes for music to the blood-stained fiends of 30 Days of Night is not what makes gentleman ghoul, Barnabas Collins swoon and sway. Unquestionably, the siren’s song of a high-pitched scream will always take top spot, but to the vampire who maintains a foothold on humanity, good music is held dear to its black, silent heart.
This list will be the first in a series showcasing tunes of the past and present which have both hammered and caressed the senses of these malignant brutes, staking a place on their aural agenda. So, dim the lights, uncork the guest of your choosing and pour a drink, sipping slowly from each of the links below. Feel free to add your own song suggestions in the comments; who knows, your dark ballad may even survive scrutiny and rise ravenous on our next list. Cheers.
DEMON IN PROFILE — The Afghan Whigs (2017)
Lead singer, Greg Dulli of Los Angeles noir-rock troubadours, The Afghan Whigs calls their upcoming album, In Spades “spooky”. If this first single confirms anything, he’s right.
VAMPIRE — Dr. Dog (2012)
Pennsylvania’s own, Dr. Dog could be singing to a frustrating lover, a sinful succubus, or both. With lyrics like these, you be the judge: There’s a darkness around you I can’t explain. You destroy all that’s good here at your will, there’s a part of me though, that loves you still.
FANGS — Night Riots (2016)
California alt-rockers, Night Riots know how to get devils on the dance floor: Speak directly to their hunger with Stick your fangs, fangs, fangs, into me. Only for you, you, you, I’ll bleed. Wallflowers beware.
Thank you for listening. Make sure to extend an invitation to enter and play these tunes at your next dark soiree, festivity or feast. They’re sure to liven up the gala of any castle or keep. And if by chance these tunes weren’t the style for your fiesta, add some songs in the comments. They’ll be well-received with no judgments. After all, before anyone calls a party dead, they should make sure they're not the only one who isn’t.
Until next time.
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